


Emails to Darren

by Thatsamazingphil



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 11:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8842762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatsamazingphil/pseuds/Thatsamazingphil
Summary: A young Chris Colfer writes an email expressing his emotions to his college-bound boyfriend.





	

To: Darren Criss  
From: Chris Colfer  
Sent: November 10, 11:39 PM

I honestly have no idea what to write. I want to tell you about my day. I want to let you know what's going on in my life. I want to keep you updated and I want to make sure you feel like you still know me.

But I shouldn't do that. I know I shouldn't do that. You'll probably find that boring. Plus, then there would be an imbalance between us. You would know everything and I would know nothing. I tend to over share, don't I? Am I over sharing by sending you a second email? Should I wait until you reply to my first one? Well it's been a week, I don't want you to think I've forgotten about you.

I couldn't ever forget about you. I could never forget the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh. I could never forget the way my heart pounds when you hold my hand. I could never forget the attack of butterflies when you kiss me. I could never forget how happy I am when I'm with you. I could never forget the emptiness in my chest when we're apart. But that emptiness is filled a little bit when you write me, even if that's not often. But that's okay! It's okay that we don't talk often, I know you're busy. I know there are more important things in your life.

I'm trying really hard to remember that. Sometimes it's hard and I feel like you've just forgotten about me. But you wouldn't actually forget about me, right? You care about me, right? That's what you told me last time we were together. I would like to believe that. I would like to believe the sweet words that fell past your lips were true.

I hope everything's going well at college. You seemed really happy in your last email. I hope nothing's changed over the past few weeks. You would tell me if you weren't happy, right? I hope you would.

I would do anything to make sure you're happy. That's why I send email after email, filled to the brim with reasons why I love you and why you're such an amazing person. I miss you a lot. I can't wait for you to visit! We'll sit on the couch and watch Harry Potter while we cuddle and we'll quote all the lines and feed each other popcorn. I assume that's what you'll want to do. But if you don't, that's fine. I'll do anything so long as I get to spend time you.

All I want is to hold your hand. All I want is to press my lips against yours. All I want is even just to cuddle with you and have meaningless conversations that I won't remember the next day, but I'll remember the way your arms felt around me and I'll remember the sound of the beating of your heart.

I long to hear your laugh again. Seeing you type 'haha' into an email isn't enough. It can't compare to the music that's your real laugh and I envy the people at your school who get to hear it every day.

I wonder if you think the same about me. I wonder how you feel when we're apart and I wonder how much you miss me. Or if you miss me, I suppose. I don't want to go assuming things, now do I? But I love to assume that you miss me. I love to assume that you care about me enough to miss me when I'm not there.

I know I miss you. And I know I've already told you that a million times and you're probably rolling your eyes thinking "oh god shut up, I know you miss me, please stop telling me". But I don't think you understand just how much I miss you. It's less like an emotional "I miss you" and more like a physical "Oh god why aren't you here with me" kind of feeling. I can feel it stabbing me in my chest and I can feel it piling up in my stomach. A terrible feeling of unfulfilled love that can only be fought off when you're with me. Sometimes it lessens when I see your emails, but it's still there a little. It's only ever completely gone when you're by my side.

I feel like this email is too long and not long enough at the same time. I can't fit every reason you're amazing into such a short email but I also don't want to waste too much of your time reading this.

I'll just finish now. I love you a lot and I hope you're well.

Love,  
Chris

To: Chris Colfer  
From: Darren Criss  
Sent: November 12, 10:40 PM

You're sweet. Love you too.


End file.
